I was working in Boston a few years back, and on my way to work, I stopped at a coffee shop to get some breakfast. As usual, at that time of morning, the wait was long. As I was standing in line, a woman a few years younger than I at the time tapped me on the shoulder. "Excuse me, Mr. Crowe.
Friday, December 5, 2008
I remember back to my wasted youth. The time where you did things that seem cool at the time but end up being a learning experience. This was a period of life where I had a love affair with alcohol. While under the influence, I would see strange things. There was one time, after I imbibed the elixir of woe, I met a incredibly beautiful woman, who seemed into me. Her name was Zacaria. She would whisper sweet nothings in my ear, caress my face, said she loved me. I believed everything she told me, that she had my best interests at heart. Well, the funny thing was that she would only show up when I was alone. I once asked her about this and she says " your friends would be jealous and try to break us apart" "I love you too much to let that happen." Again, I believed her. I did anything she told me to do. My friends became concerned, I was becoming a hermit. I stopped going to work. I only cared to be with my woman, and thought all the others were interfering with my happiness. Finally, two of my friends came to my house and tried to drag me out. She told me not to let them take me away from her, so I fought them. My last conscious sight was of her crying face. I never saw her again. I awoke in the hospital two days later, yelling her name, trying to escape. They had me tied down. Why were they doing this to me? I didn't do anything wrong. Let me go! Years later, when I recall this period of my life, I actually laugh at how gullible I was back then. Now I realize one thing.... The Devil Had My Heart
I am generally a content person, but like many others, I have my moods. I try not take my negative emotions out on others, so I try to use them in a positive, somewhat creative way, utilizing a constructive outlet. Writing happens to be one of these ways. I do it because it soothes me. I can be myself, with no one having to HEAR what I have to say. They choose whether or not they want to READ it, and in risk of sounding vain, I do like it when it is READ. You do write to be read, don't you agree? I must admit, I feel better about myself if my writing actually helps others. There are people who say they can relate to some of the things I write. They like, in fact, that there are others who share the same opinion they hold, that they are not alone. Then, of course, there are others who don't hold your viewpoint. They are sometimes negative, even hostile, toward you. They call you names, and say you don't know what you are talking about. I like that as well, because again, it means someone is reading what you are writing. It is a double-edged sword. I have been told I am descent writer. I know there is much room for improvement. There are many good, even great writers here, and I like to read their work, maybe learn a few things. I also try to encourage other people, who have quality writing, but do not write nearly enough. I try to leave comments on their blogs and I wish more people would actually do the same. It would inspire others to put out more work. I think, in general, writing for most people, is therapy. The page represents the shoulder to cry on, the punching bag, or even the first shot glass. It helps them cope, to relieve the burden of a stressful day. It makes feel productive, like they are actual contributing to something great. Well, it least I know it is for me. By the way, thanks for reading.
I am a sports fan. I just can't help it. I watch just about all of it. My favorite though is football. The NFL to be exact. I grew up in the Boston area, so I go with the hometown team, The New England Patriots. You know, the three time Super Bowl Champs. The one that has a chick magnet in MVP QB Tom Brady. The thing is I haven't gone to a game in years. I can't get tickets, and if I could, they are a little beyond my price range now at average cost of $118 a seat and $45 dollars for parking. So I have to be content on watching on TV. As many of you know, Tom Brady is out for the season with a serious knee injury. Now the Pats start Matt Cassel. The jury is out on him. As of week 3, He played two games and is 1-1. It is the losing game that perplexes me. It is not the loss itself, but the players who are complaining that the fans booed them. In week 3, the Pats played the Miami Dolphins, the team that were 1-15 last year. Miami steamrolled to a 38-13 victory. It was ugly. The Pats quit during the game, so the fans let them know about it. They booed. Some of the Patriot players took exception. How dare they boo us?! We gave them 3 championships. We made the franchise respectable again. How can they disrespect us like that? Well fellas, let me enlighten you. You are professional athletes. You get paid great money, more money then most of us will ever see. Who do you think pays your salary? We, the fans, the ones that buy the most expensive tickets in the league, the ones that buy the caps, the shirts, and other memorabilia. We deserve a reasonable return. How about doing you best? You quit playing, we are going to boo. It is that simple. In all fairness, some of the players complain that the home crowd is not with them even when winning. The stadium is too quiet, they say. I asked a couple of friends who have been to some of the games. They say the true fans are suppressed from being too loud because the guy behind them, talking on a cellphone, is complaining. You are kidding right? You are at a FOOTBALL game. You are suppossed to be loud and obnoxious. It is the one day you can just let go from the grind of daily life. The band wagon jumping guy who is only there because it gives him some stature is the one they should kick out for not being loud enough. Gee, you can't have fun anymore. It is true that we as sports fans are selfish. We all love a winner. If you lose, we are disappointed, and we might even boo, but we still love you. You start winning, we are once again you best friend. This is the nature of the beast.
I remember back when I was a little kid people would ask me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I said "I want to be a rock star" I was quite serious about it. I was playing piano already and was learning guitar. My grandmother and father were musicians and I had some talent. It is funny though how things don't work out the way you wanted. I was in my first band at age 12. We thought we would be the next big band to take the world by storm. It lasted for two years and of course no one took us seriously. We lost enthusiasm and just stopped. My next endeavor was playing Bass guitar for a local band. I was 16, and the youngest member. It was abysmal, that is where I learned about alcohol.(Another story) Well, it crashed rather quickly. I waited a couple years before I tried again. This time, I started my own band. I actually met two great musicians who I felt a good vibe. We were good, very good in fact, and we thought we going places... No one signed us. It comes late for some people, but you realize that sometimes you are just not good enough. Case here: good but not great. I feel bad for the young musicians of today. it is much HARDER for them then it was for us. Music changes. You must have some kind of gimmick. You must know someone in the business. (A famous relative, perhaps?) Oh yeah, unless you are off the chart talented, you must be hot looking. Now I just do it for fun. I make a few bucks on the side. Nothing earth shattering, but I enjoy it more now than I ever did. Anybody else have aspirations and realized it just would not happen? When you gave it up, were you satisfied you gave it your best shot, or did you regret it for not trying harder?
I have a variety of interests, just like most people. Some of them you may not be your cup of tea, so to speak. I think these differences make us unique as individuals. At the age of 12, I was introduced to role playing games, also known as RPG's , by one of my friends. I was immediately hooked on one in particular, called Dungeons & Dragons. I was at a gawky stage in life, so I liked the idea of being someone else besides myself. We would hole up in my friends basement after school and most of the weekend pretending to be great heroes. One day, my mom watched a movie about a teenager who murdered his family. There was one scene in the movie where they showed a D & D book in his bedroom. It was from that day on I was FORBIDDEN to play it again. She says it perverts the mind at creates bad thoughts. It might even cause someone to kill. The thing was, she was not alone in her opinion. Some people believed that it was some kind of cult, that people who played the game were Satanists. It did not matter that it was a miniscule minority who created these problems. There must be something wrong with these kids. Well, how about the kid who had the stuttering problem that now is a strong public speaker? How about the girl who was struggling with reading but earned her Master's in English Lit. These were kids who I know. It does help with creativity. It helps improve math and reading skills. How about enhancing leadership and team orientation? There were famous people who played the game. I will only mention one though. His name is Vin Diesel. I dare you to tell him he is a geek. How many you gamers are out there? Shout out.
God works in mysterious ways. This is the problem that some people have with religion. They want validation that He exists. If they don't see any evidence, they don't believe HE exists. Well, this is what we call faith. Some of these people were raised in religious families. They lose their faith when something tragic happens to them or a loved them. They say to themselves " If there is a God, why does he let bad things happen to good people?" "Why are there wars?" "Why are people starving around the world?" So they turn their back on religion. They argue that people who go to church are hypocrites. They say people use it a crutch. There is validity in that argument but I think the majority of these people are descent human beings with good hearts. There others who find themselves again. Who is to judge? The irony here is that these non-believers will be the first ones to say "Please God help me" when an actual tragically befalls them. When one is close to death they seem to harness a belief system all of a sudden. now they are scared, they will cling on the hope that there is more, that there might be more in the beyond. Any thoughts?
I was eating at my favorite restaurant one day last week sitting at my usual table closest to the entrance. I noticed a couple in their twenties walk through the door. The woman looked like this: I kid you not, she looked like a model. I see beautiful woman all the time, but I think I looked a little too long on this occurrence. The woman's boyfriend took exception. He comes over to me and says, "What the f**k are staring at a**hole ?" Now this guy looked like he could be the starting linebacker for an NFL team. I say, " I'm sorry man. I did not mean to stare at your girl, but she is going to turn a lot of heads because she is incredibly hot. I would think you would smile, put your arm around her and say to yourself that " yeah she is hot and she is mine." because you are one lucky man." He simmered down, actually shook my hand and said he was sorry for overreacting and when back to his sizzling girlfriend. I was like this guy once. I would get angry when a guy would eye my woman a little too long. Now I just smile , give her squeeze and tell her how beautiful she looks. Now the question ladies and gentleman. Does the stares of other men toward the woman make her man jealous? Does it validate her beauty in his eyes? As a woman, does it make you feel angry when he overreacts or you like the attention? Well, your thoughts anyone?
I was reading a blog the other day. It talks about an older woman dating a younger man. There is a duality on my perspective. As a younger man, age 21 to be precise, I dated an older woman. She was 38 years old and looked incredible. I met her at a club where my band was performing. The relationship lasted 6 months and ended on a bad note. The problem with most of these pairings is that they are mostly physical. The young man wants the so called "experienced woman" and the older woman wants his youth and virility. This was the case with us, and with really no common ground, it crumbled rather quickly. Now on the other side, age 30, I was dating a woman my age for a couple of years. She dropped me for a younger guy. She was 32 , he 19, and I must admit I was a little stunned. I still was in great shape, was employed, and didn't stray and treated her well. She wanted something I guess I couldn't give her. We talk about a man having a midlife crises, but a woman can have them as well. She sees her youth vanishing at a rapid rate. She wants the younger man to validate her "hotness". She might have other things to offer, and he pretends he cares. (I was him once). She sees him as eye candy, someone to show off to her friends. He sees her as a meal ticket, as women this age are usually financially secure. This is vanity in the extreme. I am not being bitter, but stating the obvious that most people have seen. These relationships, in the parameters that Stephanie described, usually do not last in the long term. They are merely flings. A distraction until a rich , good looking guy her age catches her eye. Alas though, he will dump her for a girl half his age. It is what it is.